Please note this blog post was written by Jo-Rosie Haffenden before leaving the company.
By Jo-Rosie Haffenden (24 years and 11 months)
Matthew Robson (aged 15) wrote a memo for Morgan Stanley called ‘How Teenagers Consume Media’ and caused a stir. Then Dan Wilson wrote a comic retort to this, for the older gentleman (well, 31) – I thought as none of them represented the females – I would jump on the memo-wagon and have my say.
We listen to Radio 4 a lot and remember key phrases from the news and sport so that we can repeat them at work and pretend to have an informed opinion. We enjoy the plays on this station too, but not the comedy shows – they are rubbish. Radio one used to be good, but it is too fast paced and the music grows louder and more irritating so we generally don’t bother with radio unless we are in the car. We also miss John Peel.
We also watch much more television than we confess to, particularly reality TV and feel-good gown-up versions of teen dramas. We pretend to hate chic-flicks and view them as a guilty pleasure but the moment boyfriend’s backs are turned we are watching Marley and Me over and over again. TV isn’t as good as it used to be.
iPlayer is excellent but we secretly prefer 4oD where we can watch reruns of Wife Swap and other programmes which involve couples much more miserable than us. We use these programmes as evidence when we start fights with boyfriends about how ungrateful they are.
Like 31 year old men we also like Sunday morning papers, but only really read the celebrity gossip. We often pretend to be interested in the fashion and style supplements but only so that partners view us as ‘girly’. Secretly we would be far happier reading Heat or The Sun – especially the bits with “Look how ugly/fat these celebrities have got that your boyfriend fancies” articles.
We love music more so than ever because it is free and most of it is designed to be listened to with headphones. This means that girls can listen to it privately, thus we can listen to whatever rubbishy Kate Nash, Lilly Allen, self-indulgent, I-feel-the-same-way-as-you-about-your-boyfriend music we are embarrassed to admit to liking. And, 80s soft rock ballads. When we read that 31 year old men think that DRM is “a pretty good university second only to Oxford and Cambridge”, we pretended to know what DRM was and smiled to ourselves even though really we didn’t have a clue and had to look it up in case people asked.
We like phones. We like text. Especially when it means we can tell female friends our version of any gossip way before they hear it from the horse’s mouth. This works the other way round too and in turn means that we feel like we know what’s going on. We rarely use our phones for anything meaningful or constructive apart from reading our boyfriend’s sent box, and organising friends. We remember giving boys our number and hoping mum and dad wasn’t in when they called. We know how to use phones, but only use the Internet on them when we need to find out the number for something.
24 years olds are adept at using the Internet. We also occasionally look at pornography.
Don’t bother – full of boys who used to have crushes on us when we were at school.
Is a great tool to look at younger “band boys” posing in skinny jeans. We look at lots of different posing pictures of them, many of them topless. We say to our boyfriends how disgusting and sad this is, but secretly we think “mmmmmmmmmm”.
Is for watching people who used to bully you and laugh at them for getting fat and ugly with no man in their life. We ogle baby photos hoping that if we say how cute they are, our boyfriends will agree and say that we should have one too. We also look at wedding photos and say “oh look how gorgeous she is” when we are really just thinking “mine is going to be much better than this.” We pity single friends and congratulate relationship status changes with things like “well done – he is a lucky man” or “Well done – he was a dick”.
Is great. It takes us moments to lie about what we’ve been doing. We talk about getting fit and being on diets as well as follow celebrities- mainly for the Twitpics.
Only strip-games; only if we have to.
We think this little guy shows great potential. What a brilliant and ambitious child. We want to congratulate his mother and think that our kids will be doing things like this. We think our kids will probably do it better though and be a bit more articulate.